I’m falling in love and trying not to.
April 5, 09
Hi Gwen,
So, I ditched my “stay holed up at home with a married man” plans to go out with Kyle this weekend, and I’m soooo glad I did that. Kyle is sooo awesome. This was our 3rd or 4th date. The ONLY problem is that he’s made it clear that his focus is on raising his son (13 y.o.) right now. Not that THAT should be a problem for me–I mean, I’ve got 2 little ones and more than a few issues to get under control before offering My Best to anyone. But dammit, Kyle and I have SO much fun–we get along fabulously, laugh, talk, have great sex, laugh some more, hug, kiss, cuddle, lay around and listen to music… Not to mention he drives a sporty convertible, lives in a beautiful house in a gated community with A View, and is a corporate exec. On top of that, he a musician (played the Nashville circuit for many years), played baseball in college…and has an appreciation for art. And he’s confident but not cocky, personable, and sweet. But, I CAN’T fall in love with him! No problem. Right. While we were laying in his bathtub, we were talking about raising kids and all those challenges…and he said that when his children are grown (in 5 and 8 years–his other son is in another state with his ex-wife), that it’ll be a relief and that basically he’ll be ready to have no kid responsibilities…So, there I am, saying Yeah, but that makes me kinda Sad…because I have a baby! He also said Never say Never Though, which was a bit of a ray of hope. Although, I must admit I was fondling his penis at THAT particular moment. Anyway, I’m falling in love and trying not to. When I’m with him, I’m in the BEST place, but this is very much Enjoy the Moment Only, which makes me, well…kinda sad when I’m not with him.
I just wanted to share this with someone. Thanks Gwen. Any advice?
-Kat
Dear Kat,
First of all, I’m just going to ignore your very first sentence, other than to say good decision.
And hey, way to go! He sounds like quite a catch. There really doesn’t appear to be a problem here, unless you actually feel like you must hook him and reel him in. In that case, he’s gonna flop around for a short while and then take a giant leap back into the sea. And then he’ll be gone.
You recognize that you have some personal issues of your own, so you have your own things to focus on. It’s best not to forge a committed relationship with anyone unless you feel that you are in a good place and can share your best. To be sure, no guy is gonna come into your world and take you away from your problems, no matter how fast his sporty car goes. Be happy you met a great guy to spend some time with, to give you something to look forward to, and to laugh with. That’s great!
If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. If it wasn’t meant to be, you don’t want it anyway! Not much you can do about stuff like that, sweetie pie.
Take care!
-Gwen